moment of tolerance…

Without going into too much detail yet still putting myself out there, I’ve got some challenges with certain sounds that happen all day, everyday.  Simple sounds that to the average person don’t even register.  One of the most prominent sounds is chewing, swallowing, lip smacking — eating in general.

Growing up my brother and I would eat breakfast at the table together and it was torture.  I’m not a morning person, but add this extreme intolerance to the sound of slurping, chewing, crunching, and swallowing and that made for a very tense and very angry morning routine.  For years my mom would try to remind me of the importance of ‘tolerance’.  After years and years of this ‘intolerance’ it became the general consensus that I was in fact intolerant and the best way to deal with my resulting anger or snappiness was to simply remove myself from the situation.  (I am in NO way making any negative statement about my mom or my brother, I feel I must make this very clear)

Recently I have learned that what I believed was a flaw in my character is actually a flaw in my internal system, not my character.  I’m relieved to know that not only am I not just intolerant but I am not alone.  I am one of many that deals with Misophonia on a daily basis. (I included the link for anyone that wants to know)

In my quest to learn more about this newly found ‘reason’ for my intolerance I have been exposed to online forums, Facebook Groups and the like.  What I am finding in these groups is a blog post for another day — one that I will probably share later today or even tomorrow…but in the meantime, I feel better getting out there that I’m not just an intolerant raging lunatic.  I’m not just a bitch.  I’m not going crazy.  The feelings are real, and most importantly — they are valid.

One thought on “moment of tolerance…

  1. Hi Courtney –
    Sorry to hear you have a neurological disorder. I think I may have a touch of this especially if it involves anything nasal. Then again, I think I am just intolerant. Aileen may have it because my childhood was spent laying in bed at nite trying to breathe in a way that didn’t bother her…..”you’re doing it again!!” “What” he 7 yr old asks innocently……”Breathing all funny!”. Then I would overcompensate by holding my breath and that would bug her…..finally she would just flair out and hit me in the chest. Ah, good times.
    But before you file a disability claim or utulize the ADA, I have a question……did you have the same exerience with poor wee Justin at dinnertime or was it just breakfast??? ‘Cause I think the “morning-gene” may play a REALLY big role here……
    Miss you (well after 10am…),
    Paula

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