tolerance part deux…

As I mentioned earlier in my post about Misophonia and some of the public forums that I’ve been exposed to — I’ve come to see a pattern of annoyance among those with Misophonia.  It seems that a good number of people that post on the public forums are extremely agitated that those around them aren’t making a better effort to not make the trigger noises, with a heavy focus on their family members and their close friends.

After reading a post, more like a rant, about a woman sitting on the public transportation and snapping her gum and the subsequent glares and mental cursing that were aimed at said woman, I couldn’t help but feel uneasy with the lack of tolerance by the person with Misophonia.

The trigger noises that are associated with everyday actions — like eating, breathing, chewing, and swallowing are second nature actions that most don’t even think about when they are doing them.   I know that while I think and focus on the sound of the swallowing and the subsequent and intense emotion that rises up as a result of hearing that, the person next to me doesn’t even register the sound.

It’s unfair to expect my friends and my family to not only take notice of these sounds, but to REMEMBER the list of sounds that affect me negatively.   And just as it’s unfair for me to put that kind of expectation to my friends and family — it’s even more unfair for me to put that kind of expectation on strangers.

In  my opinion…glaring the evil eye or verbally lashing out at strangers, friends or family members because they are loudly sipping their tea (keep in mind, it may not sound loud and obnoxious to them) or taking that four hundredth drink of their beverage within earshot or crunching on that pretzel and you have reminded them over and over again that it makes you nuts is more harmful than helpful in the end.

Both sides need to practice tolerance and patience — as hard as it may be.  And while it may seem unfair, those with Misophonia ESPECIALLY need to be more patient with friends, family and strangers and remembering that, for the most part, people aren’t making the sounds on purpose.  They aren’t doing it to get a rise out of you.  They aren’t doing it to drive you to insanity.  They aren’t on a personal mission to make you rip all your hair out of your head.  They aren’t encouraging you to drive anything into your ears to stop the sound.  They aren’t even aware that they are doing it at all because it’s second nature.  It’s something they do everyday, multiple times a day, without even thinking about it.