“enough” update

While my attempt at forcefully shoving my brother into the direction of getting a grip on his life and making his time on this planet valuable was swift and a decision made easy based on his actions…

My mother seems to be unable to make that same decision.  And it’s frustrating. And it’s annoying.  And most of all…it’s hurtful to everyone else. 

Last night I watched as my brother, not home when I got home at 4:30, walked into the house at 7:30 and immediately had the attention of my mother.  Midway thru a sentence, his presence alone pulled her eyes toward him…her attention to me and the conversation we were having, for the most part done.  The best part…first thing he says to her “Have you guys had dinner?” 

Are you fucking kidding me.  Are you seriously beliveing this bullshit story he is feeding you about a ‘job at FootLocker’ thru a friend’s cousin that he was talking to someone about today. 

What about me?  What about the child that had some struggles with alcohol herself but was able to realize there was a problem?  Why does the brother take presendence now?

Adding to what is already an angering moment…there was a good 10 minute “hushed” conversation between the brother and my mother.  This is when the manipulation starts.  This is when he feeds her the lines he knows will work.  This is when he takes advantage of the fact that she is not strong enough (maybe? I still can’t find the right word for this…) to call him on his bullshit. 

Because the boy has entered the room and has decided we should be eating dinner – pizza is ordered.  The boy then promptly goes upstairs until pizza is here…which them my mother tells me to CALL HIM UPSTAIRS. 

Again…are you fucking kidding me. 

The only thing this is doing…making it easier for me to make the cross country move.  I count the days until I am away from this lame drama that she doesn’t seem willing to change.  I can’t break the habit, I can’t break the cycle.  I can only stop what I see happening when I am faced with it.  

Much like my father, my relationship with my brother is strained to say the least.  Who am I kidding, there is no relationship anymore.  And I’m sad to say…I am okay with that. 

I still don’t like this brother that I see, I don’t approve (not that my approval means anything), and I don’t accept it. 

Get a life. Stop being a sponge. Pull your shit together.  Your ‘mommy’ isn’t going to out live you, and you sister isn’t going to bail you out.