can’t shake the feeling…

history of me is always that right when things are going well, and I think to myself “wow, like is really turning a good corner for me” or “this seems to be heading in the right direction” the world spins on the axis and slams me right in the face with something ugly…

ever since the age of about 8 this has been the case for me…

the last few days should be spent being excited for the upcoming changes, I want to be able to think happy thoughts and truly look forward to the move across the county.

But I can’t – my mind won’t stop going back to “don’t get too excited, soon the world will bitch slap you and everything will be turned upside down, again.”

it sucks and I don’t like it – I want it to go away.  erg.

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