Most of my close friends know that I have very little tolerance for some things, and one of those things are idiots.
I’ve been told over and over again that the world is full of idiots (this I do know and I do accept) and that I can’t take on the role of being the idiot police, because frankly…it’s a 24/7 – 365 day job. This past weekend the I walked into an idiot storm…and sadly, the idiots won to my embarrassment. After a discussion with the BF, in 2012 I’m going to try to take the stance of “what a fucking idiot” and then let it go. Cause like he says — “You can’t be the idiot police”
Who are some of these idiots? What are the idiotic things they do that annoy me so? Well…here’s a short list —
- Scene 1 – A grown woman who has parked her car in a mall parking lot, walking with a young girl maybe 8 years old. Standing at the end of the parking lot and waiting for cars that are turning into the lot to pass says to her daughter (dead seriously) “Now all these cars are supposed to stop to let us pass” while standing 5 FEET FROM THE CROSS WALK. You know, those white lines that are painted onto the asphalt to indicate to not only pedestrians but to drivers that PEOPLE ARE WALKING ACROSS HERE.
- Here’s your idiot sign lady. You are teaching your kid wrong, crosswalks are there for a reason.
- Scene 2 – A woman and her friend are at Macy’s purchasing <insert name of item, cause it doesn’t really matter> and as the cashier rings up the items said woman and her friend become irate that the price that is loading up isn’t the price that the “sign on the rack” says. She and her friend become so irate they are pointing at said “sale 40% off” sign on the rack of items and saying “this is what the sign says!”
- Here’s your idiot sign ladies. In case you haven’t noticed — there are PRICE SCANNERS all over the damn stores now so you can see BEFORE you get up to the cashier what that item is going to be. Plus…have you lived under a rock? Things get put back in the WRONG places by other customers ALL THE TIME.
- Scene 3 – Friday morning before New Year’s, about 7:40am on 95 North headed towards Baltimore (my morning commute) in the fast lane, going roughly 80 mph. (don’t tell the 5-0). Coming up fast on my right a big ol’ truck with a family in it — then climbing up the ass of the car next to me. Couldn’t get in front of me, so gets behind me. Starts flashing brights at me. Could pass at this point, doesn’t — continues to flash his brights at me. I don’t move. He finally gets over and blazes by me — fucker has North Carolina plates.
- Here’s your idiot (and asshole) sign dickhead. It’s the Friday before a holiday weekend, I’m going WELL over the speed limit and YOUR FUCKING KIDS ARE IN YOUR CAR. You want to drive warp speed — don’t expect people going an acceptable speed to get out of your way, even tho you drive a big stupid truck.
- Scene 4 – Monday night, California Tortilla (this wicked mexican-ish restaurant with great tacos & burritos). Monday’s are a promotional night, you buy a burrito you get to spin the wheel of goodies, i.e. discounts and free shit. Woman with four LOUD children and her nanny walk in to CalTort in front of us. For starters, the nanny walks in behind everyone else and then promptly STOPS in the middle of the entrance, blocking anyone else from getting around her. Secondly, the children make a bee-line for the spinner and begin to ‘play’ with it even tho the manager has said “no playing with it”. Mom ignores the fact that two of her very loud boys are aggressively playing with the wheel AND blocking it for anyone else that needs to use it — you know, the rest of the customers! A woman that was ordering needs to use the spinner — mom doesn’t even notice or give a shit that her kids are in the way. Manager has to ask them to stop so lady can spin, she spins and before her spin stops a freekin kid goes up and spins it again. Mom says NOTHING, not a word. To make it better, kid spins it so hard it falls off the pedestal and hits the kid in the head. Mom, still doesn’t move. Doesn’t seem to give a crap. I can’t go on with the story — I’m getting pissy just retelling it.
- Here’s your idiot sign lady. Your children are monsters, and just because you are used to it doesn’t mean that everyone else in the restaurant wants to deal with it. What’s the point of your fucking nanny if you both just ignore the behavior?
I can’t be the only one that finds the above scenes of idiocy annoying as all get up, right??
One thought on “the idiot police…”
Hi Courtney –
Okay, these are all EXCELLENT examples but I have dire concerns that you are not going to be able to EVER let it go….and certainly not for all of 2012……your post of 9 days into 2012 shows little promise. You should try my mantra…..it’s a little more vague and not as confrontational as calling people idiots but the message is there….I just quietly mumble “I hate people”. There it is…..simple and succinct yet accurate. Give it a try…..GOOD LUCK! Take care, Paula